Categories
Funny Business M.I.T.

M.I.T. Economics Christmas skit with basketball theme, 1961

 

Spoiler alert: you are about to encounter one of the least funny economics skits in the history of the genre, so this artifact is regrettably low on entertainment value.  Still the six acts have a certain seven-acts-of-man structure: Act I (the department recruits), Act II ( advising the first-year student), Act III (graduate student complaints), Act IV (choosing guest speakers), Act V (general examinations), Act VI (job market). 

After reading the skit, you might need a palate cleansing or better: for that purpose here are a few links to the key word “Funny Business” at Economics in the Rear-view Mirror that take you to some of the greatest hits of economics skits.

____________________

ANOTHER TWO POINTS FOR THE FACULTY,
ANOTHER FOUL ON THE STUDENTS

A Christmas Drama (with suggestions for a cast), December 15, 1961

ACT I

(The curtain rises on a scene of [Edgar Cary] Brown, [Franklin Marvin] Fisher, [Charles Poor] Kindleberger and [Abraham J.] Siegel seated around a table reading applications.

SIEGEL: Here’s a guy who may be OK…No…the place is no good. A cow college. They average only 50 points a game.

BROWN:  Here’s a good one.

FISHER: What’s his record?

BROWN: Pretty darn good. Worth at least tuition plus $500. Maybe $750.

FISHER: What’s his record?

BROWN: Pretty darn good. He’s from Podunk. And they’re pretty good. He was the best they had.

FISHER: How did he score, for crying out loud?

BROWN: He’s six-feet-five, weighs 195 pounds, and fast; he averaged 23.7 points a game. He has a great set shot, never misses from the foul line, and superb off the backboard. He’s just what we need in Graduate Economics at M.I.T.

 

ACT II

(An office: Siegel is advising a student.)

SIEGEL: For the first year I would take pretty standard fare: theory, history, statistics, finance, and international, plus of course the workshop. There’s no use trying to take too much. Pace yourself.

STUDENT (perhaps [Stephen Herbert] Hymer?): I don’t have much math. Why do I need to take statistics?

SIEGEL: Ando is very good. He doesn’t always make things completely clear, but you have to take statistics if you want to be able to handle averages, to work out the point per game and point per shot records; and you need probability to help compute odds on all the league games. Statistics is a must.

STUDENT: Why the history, finance and international?

SIEGEL: International is important. You ought to know how to schedule the Harlem Globetrotters, and who has the best chance in the Olympics. One of our best graduates played on the Oxford team against Poland and Czechoslovakia. That was Chuck Cooper, and it got him a job as Walter Heller’s assistant at the Council. Finance is important. When the gamblers start bribing players you need to know how to invest the funds. And history is vital. On the general exams they always ask who was James Naismith, the man who invented basketball. That’s for every student. The good students they ask when it was invented…of course 1891. And the very best students they ask where…past, Springfield, Mass. Remember, it’s not Springfield, Illinois. That’s Abe Lincoln.

STUDENT: OK. But tell me about the last one.

SIEGEL: Theory isn’t much. [Paul Anthony] Samuelson teaches about how to make inputs for two points, and when to dribble.

STUDENT: Samuelson teaches drivel?

 

ACT III

(A group of students, griping.)

STUDENT 1 (Francis Michel Bator?): This place is no good. It’s theory, theory, theory all the way. Anyone knows that the way to win at basketball is to practice. Practice makes perfect. Theory makes perfect fools. All you do is study and take exams. “Who was James Naismith? Who was Adam Yea-Smith? When do you chop down the tree?” Bah! I say we ought to study policy. With a two-point lead and three minutes to go, should you freeze the ball or plop in an input for an output of two points?

STUDENT 2 ([Paul Narcyz] Rosenstein-Rodan?): They tell me [Robert Merton] Solow has been converted from theory to policy. He is no longer interested in questions like whether the best set shot is an inverted rectangular parabola, but real issues, like the queuing problem: how many substitutes does a team need to field five men for an hour, with one personal foul every six minutes and four personal fouls per man disqualifying. If you have too many players on the bench you get unemployment. The team needs growth. Maybe you ought to add a man and play six.

STUDENT 3 ([Robert] Evans?): What’s bad is to have to play far away from the Sloan building. Those workshops on top on Walker and over in the Armory are OK, but they are too far away. We need the Ford Foundation to give us a workshop right here.

STUDENT 1: Haven’t you heard? The talk is that the new building to go up in the back lot is a library. But as I see its dimensions unfold- 90 feet by 50 – and transparent backboards and netting and grandstands, I can’t believe it’s a library. It must be a basketball court.

 

ACT IV

(A meeting of the G.E.A.)

RALPH BULL (played by [Robert Lyle] Bishop?): Do any of you fellows have suggestions for speakers besides Cousy, Russell, Jungle Jim Lusketoff, and that 6.8 outstanding economist, [John Kenneth] Galbraith, who can stand with his head coming up through the basket?

STUDENT B: What about Milton Friedman? He is under the five feet which some say is the minimum allowable in a monetary theorist, but he sure is good at the far-fetched shot.

STUDENT B: Why not get Clifford Odets?

RALPH BULL: Clifford Odets? Why him?

STUDENT B: Don’t you remember the famous line in “Awake and Sing”? “My brother Sam joined the Navy. He don’t know from nothin’, that dumb basketball player.” I want to know whether the emphasis is “that dumb basketball player” or “the [sic] dumb basketball player”. Are there any smart basketball players?

 

ACT V

KINDLEBERGER: As chairman of this exam, let me tell you that you have the right to pick the order of your exam. Do you want to start with Theory, or Statistics?

STUDENT (Samuelson?): I think I’ll start by jumping against Fisher, your professorship, sir. Ando’s the smaller, so I’ll take him last when I’m tired.

KINDLEBERGER: All right. (Student and Fisher face each other. Kindleberger blows whistle and throws imaginary ball. Cheers of amazement from faculty.)

FISHER: Very well. I have decided to let you combine Theory and Economic History.

STUDENT: Hey, Ref, your Ph.D.ship, sir, I’m not responsible for History. Isn’t that a foul?

KINDLEBERGER: I didn’t see nuthin’.

FISHER: Consider the population explosion of the last 150 years. Discuss the relative roles of (a) men and (b) women in this affair.

ANDO [Albert Keinosuke] : Good shot. That’s two points for our side.

STUDENT: I don’t know that, your cap-and-gownship, sir, but I know the roles are neither reflexive, symmetric, or transitive.

KINDLEBERGER: (blows whistle) Foul. You used big words in a generals. That’s only permitted the faculty.

FISHER: I’ll give Albert my free throw.

ANDO: (taking the foul shot) Please discuss the role of the nearly decomposable take-off in the application of a priori oligopoly theory to the A&P case.

STUDENT: Hey! You guys are ganging up on me.

ANDO: Well, you outnumber us in class.

STUDENT: (driving hard for basket) It can be set up as a nine-dimensional matrix problem and the latent roots dispensed with. I think the take-off is fine if done along the turnpike, watching out for model changes in passing cars.

ANDO: Fantastic! (Faculty huddle.)

KINDLEBERGER: That was a good answer. We’ve decided to give you an Excellent minus for being a good scorer, but to ask you to leave the Institute for fouling out on personals.

KINDLEBERGER, ANDO, FISHER: Rah, team!

 

ACT VI

DOMAR [Evsey David]: Well, you have the degree wrapped up, and now want a job. Not bad. You got a good grade on the orals, and would have gotten a top grade if you hadn’t thought that Stilt Chamberlain played for the Celtics and failed to distinguish Slippery Sam Jones from Casey Jones. Your thesis was entirely satisfactory, on a good topic: How to Get to the Boston Garden from Madison Square Garden: An Application of the Turnpike Theorem. And you even did languages: basketball communication in the Ivy League, or basketball with a broad A. Now the job. What do you think? Big Ten? Ivy League? Small liberal arts? Girls’ rules like Wellesley or Vassar? Or maybe the real big time: Kentucky, Long Island University, St. Joseph’s in Brooklyn, Notre Dame. L.I.U. is to economics like M.I.T. was to economics.

STUDENT (perhaps [Max Franklin] Millikan?): I don’t now if I’m ready for the Big Time.

DOMAR: What about applying some of your basketballmetrics for the government? They need our graduates. Or for an oil company. Maybe you would like to take a ball and a whistle and go abroad, demonstrating technical assistance to underdeveloped countries. There are jobs like that.

STUDENT: No. I guess I’m fussy. What I’d like is just what all the gang would like, to stay here at Cambridge with Harvard and the Celtics, and to referee like you and [Robert Lyle] Bishop and Samuelson, always blowing off your whistle and shouting foul, going first class to conferences, and shouting foul, foul, foul at the students.

 

Source:  M.I.T. Archives. MIT Department of Economics records, Box 2, Folder “GEA 1961-67”.

Image Source:  Boston Celtics players Tom Heinsohn, Bill Russell, Bob Cousy, Bill Sharman and Frank Ramsey in 1960. “Twelve of the greatest Celtics players of all time”  from Boston.com website (March 18, 2018)

 

Categories
Amherst Chicago Economists Harvard M.I.T. Placement

Chicago. Zvi Griliches asking Frank Fisher for junior appointment leads, 1961

 

In a 1961 memo Zvi Griliches reported to his Chicago colleagues some scouting results regarding a possible junior appointment in economics. He spoke econometrician-to-econometrician with his colleague Frank Fisher at M.I.T. about the most interesting graduate students in the Cambridge area on the job market that year. Four names were mentioned, two unsurprising enough were the names of economists “unable” to be drawn from the gravitational pull of Cambridge. 

Griliches ended his memo with the remark “This year Domar happens to be MIT’s ‘placement officer’ and this is likely to put us at some competitive disadvantage.” Does this mean that Griliches thought the monopsonist Evsey Domar would deliberately discriminate against the University of Chicago?

_______________

Four graduate students discussed by Zvi Griliches and Frank Fisher

Beals, Ralph E. Dept. of Econs. Amherst College, Amherst, MA 01002. Birth Yr: 1936.  Degrees: B.S., U. of Kentucky, 1958; M.A., Northwestern U., 1959; Ph.D., Mass. Institute of Technol., 1970. Prin. Cur. Position: Clarence Francis Prof. of Econs., Amherst Coll., 1966.  Concurrent/Past Positions: Assoc., Harvard Institute for Int’l. Develop., 1973.  Research: Int’l. trade, commercial policy & industrialization in Indonesia.

[According to the Prabook website: Ralph E. Beals was Assistant professor economics, Amherst (Massachusetts) College, 1962-1963; associate professor, Amherst (Massachusetts) College, 1966-1971. ]

Hohenberg, Paul M. RPI, Dept of Econ, Troy, NY 12180. Birth Yr: 1933.  Degrees: B.Ch.E., Cornell U., 1956; M.A., Tufts U., 1959; Ph.D., Mass. Institute of Technol., 1963. Prin. Cur. Position: Prof. of Econs., Rensselaer Poly. Institute, 1977.  Concurrent/Past Positions: Vis. Assoc. Prof., Sir George Williams U., Montreal, 1972-74; Assoc. Prof., Cornell U., 1968-73.  Research: Urbanization & econ. change in Europe and U.S.

Marglin, Stephen A.  Birth Yr: 1938.  Degrees: A.B., Harvard U., 1959; Ph.D., Harvard U., 1965. Prin. Cur. Position: Prof. of Econs., Harvard U.

Temin, Peter. Mass Inst of Tech, Dept of Econ, Cambridge, MA 02139. Birth Yr: 1937.  Degrees: B.A., Swarthmore Coll., 1959; Ph.D., Mass. Institute of Technol., 1964. Prin. Cur. Position: Prof. of Econs., Mass. Institute of Technol., 1970.  Concurrent/Past Positions: Assoc. Prof., Mass. Institute of Technol., 1967-70; Asst. Prof., Mass. Institute of Technol., 1965-67. ResearchEcon. history; telecommunications policy.

 

Source:  Biographical Listing of Members. The American Economic Review, Vol. 83, No. 6 (Dec., 1993).

_______________

Memo on possible appointments written by Zvi Griliches

November 8, 1961

[To:] A. Rees
[From:] Z. Griliches
[Re:] The possible appointments.

I had a long telephone conversation with Frank Fisher last week about “whom we should look at.” It is his opinion that the single best young man coming up now in the Cambridge area is:

Stephen A. Marglin—He is a mathematical theorist, with several papers to his credit. He has spent a year at Cambridge, England and is currently in his second year of a three year Junior Fellowship at Harvard. I had already invited him to give a talk to the workshop and he will be here on January 16 to talk on “The Social Rate of Discount and the Opportunity Costs of Public Investment.” Frank thinks that we would have a very hard time getting him, in particular for next year, but that he is clearly the best.

The best current MIT student that will be coming to the market is, in Fisher’s opinion:

Ralph Beals—who is a third year graduate student specializing in the fields of monetary policy and econometrics. He has been working with Solow and Albert Ando and his interests in the monetary area have appartently been stimulated by Solow’s and Ando’s involvement in the Monetary Commission stuff.

In addition, Fisher mentioned that there are also two ver good “economic historian types” finishing there this year:

Peter Pemin[sic, “Temin”]—who is working with Gerschenkron at Harvard, and
Paul Hohenberg—who is working withKindelberger on the sources of the econonmic development of France in the 19thcentury.

This year Domar happens to be MIT’s “placement officer” and this is likely to put us at some competitive disadvantage.

cc:       H. Johnson, M. Friedman, T. Schultz✓, G. Stigler, W. Wallis.

Source:  University of Chicago Archives. Department of Economics Records, Box 42, Folder 3.

Image Source:  Zvi Griliches from the University of Chicago Photographic Archive, apf1-06565, Special Collections Research Center, University of Chicago Library.

 

Categories
Funny Business M.I.T.

M.I.T. Economics skit from about 1971

 

The following M.I.T. economics skit from ca. 1971 attains biblical proportions or at least displays biblical pretensions. The script comes from Robert Solow’s file of many such skits that Roger Backhouse has copied during his archival research. Alas this script displays some half-dozen gaps, but there is always some hope that the missing parts (mainly lyrics for songs noted below) will be found eventually in some other economist’s archived papers.

While there is no explicit date on the manuscript, the references to President Nixon, a mention of the eighth edition of Samuelson’s Economics (published in 1970) and the reference to Bishop and Domar who last taught the first graduate microeconomic and macroeconomic courses in 1970-71 are sufficient to give us a reasonably tight point estimate of early 1971 for this skit.

I have taken the liberty of correcting the many spelling errors and obvious typos. To improve readability I have also added boldface, alignment formatting etc. Comments are found within square brackets in italics.

Nerd humor, crude double entendre, puns coexist along side of flashes of wit and emotion. But it is mostly nerd humor.

_________________________

Opening Song [Lyrics missing]

Announcer [Text missing]

Narrator:

In the beginning God created the endowments and utility.
And God looked on the utility and saw that they were goods.
And there was darkness upon the face of the utility and the utility was without form.
And God said let there be light and there was light and the preferences were revealed.
And God said let there be a social welfare function and so it was that the preferences were ordered.
And God said let there be liberation of consciousness and there was consciousness of liberation.
And created economic man in his own image.
And on the seventh day God rested because the Robnett was closed.

[Robnett was name of the room in the Sloan Building that served as a graduate student lounge.]

[Enter Adam]

Adam: Like man, what am I gonna do with this endowment of two nuts I got stuck with. There ain’t no one to exchange ‘em with. I can’t get no satisfaction.

[Enter Eve tossing apple]

Eve: Hey man wanna bite of my apple

Adam: Now we’re getting down to the core of the problem.

Eve: Can I have one of your nuts if I give you a bite of my apple.

Adam: Well you see, I suffer from a certain lumpiness in my endowments. One nut ain’t no good to you on its own but I’ll exchange both of my nuts for 2 bites of your apple.

Eve: Hold it: I got a better idea. Why don’t we put your nuts and my apples together and reproduce them. Perhaps we can make a date.

[Gong and Lights]

God:   Stop! In creating this perfect static world for you, I forbade you to break the budget constraint. Now you have reproduced your endowments and broken the budget constraint. Henceforth I condemn all economic men to conduct their intercourse only through the medium of money, and each and every man shall maximize his profits.

[Exit God]

Narrator: ….and so it came to pass that a whole stream of prophets came into existence. And the first and greatest of these was Paul, son of Samuel, who led his tribe out of the gates of Harvard. And whilst resting at Tech. Square Paul saw a flash of burning light from behind the NASA building. And God spoke unto Paul and Paul wrote down these words on a tabernacle later to be called the Ten Foundations.

[Enter Paul]

Paul: Adam Smith who begat Malthus who had a surplus so he begat Ricardo who begat Marx, who By God was a bigoted begat. But Böhm-Bawerk begat Jevons who then begat Marshall who then get begat John Keynes. But Schumpeter came from the Austrian school and finally begat me.

While we’re waiting for Joan to print up the tabernacles for us why don’t we have a sing-song to make sure you know the begetting chain.

SONG – WHEN ECON.
[For the melody: Paul Robeson’s rendition of the original hymn]

LET MY PEOPLE KNOW

  1. When Econs were in Adams land (solo)
    Let my people know (chorus)
    Everything worked by the invisible hand (solo)
    Let my people know (chorus)
    Go down Paul way down in (Adams) land
    Tell old (Adam) let my people know
  2. When econs were in Ricardo’s land
    The topic was the rent on land
  3. When econs were in Marx’s land
    Come now brothers and join the band
  4. When econs were in Marshall’s land
    All was solved with a maximand
  5. When econs were in Keynesian Land
    Savings equaled investment planned

[Joan enters gives notes to Paul]

Paul: During the five minutes left to me I’ll read to you from the Ten Foundations.

TEN FOUNDATIONS
[
Text missing]

[Gong, lights]

God: Paul! the promised land lies before the tribe of econs and thou must lead them unto this land of math and money. Thou shalt find it on a piece of old wasteland between the factories down on the river.

[Exit God]

Narrator: …and so the tribe of economists came to rest but Paul was not to become head of the tribe but instead the church grew and a Bishop was made head.

[Enter Bishop]

Bishop… Reads from manuscript in Pious voice

Everybody: Get off that’s last year’s skit.

[Exit Bishop]

Narrator: But the economists were not to live in peace for long for the mighty hosts of the Philistines fell upon them and besieged them.

[Enter 2 economists]

1st Econ: They say that these Philistines have a great warrior called Goliath who has issued a challenge to all economists to face him as champion of the Philistines.

2nd Econ: This character sounds Frankly Fishy to me

[Enter Frank]

Frank: No one calls Frank a Philistine. Take that and that.

[kills two economists.]

Narrator: And now a word from my sponsor: [Aitken Ad:]

 

Announcer: When you wake up in the morning, do your residuals seem to be going round and round?

If they do, you may be suffering from serial correlation. For severe bouts of serial correlation, especially if accompanied by lagged endogenous variables, see your local econometrician. But for the ordinary, everyday serial correlation, try Aitken’s, generalized least squares.
Don’t confuse Aitken’s with any ordinary least squares.

Scientific tests have proved that ordinary least squares is inefficient when it comes to serial correlation. Ordinary least squares merely covers up the problem, making you feel better by giving you optimistically high R2’s, low standard errors. Aitken’s heals while it conceals.

So for all of you who suffer from low Durbin-Watson statistics, the swing is to Aitkens’s. Aitken’s generalized least squares, brewed in Edinburgh, and other fine cities. But you know that.

[Others sing Amazing Frank]
[For the melody: Paul Robeson’s rendition of the original hymn]

Amazing Frank how sweet the sound
To save a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I’m found
Was blind but now I see.

That precious day that Frank appeared
The hour I first believed
Twas Frank that taught my heart to fear
And Frank my fears relieved.

Through many dangers toils & snares
I have already come
‘Tis Frank that’s brought me safe this far
And Frank will lead me home.

Narrator: ….and there was among the economists one called David.

David: All of my people are being killed—I must rescue them.

[hands cigarette to Frank who dies]

All Econs: How did you do it?

David: It’s easy—he got stoned!

All: Oh!

Narrator:…and so David became King of the tribe of Economists.

…and David begat a wise son called Solomon who inherited the ability to always know the question when given the answer

[QUESTION AND ANSWER: Text Missing]

Narrator:…But the economists lost their respect for the elders of the tribe and the world became more and more evil. This threw the economists into an economic and moral problem. The reproduction rate became higher, a labour saving device had to be introduced.

[LET’S CONTRACEPT: Lyrics or Text Missing]

[Bishop enters]

Bishop: I’m not surprised the world’s becoming more evil that Nixon just sits and fiddles while Arthur Burns. I must read the economic word to the econs

[23rd Psalm: Lyrics or Text Missing]

My lesson isn’t working, just listen to the people

[ain’t gonna deflate]

AIN’T GONNA DEFLATE

[Sung to the tune Blood on the Risers (Gory Gory What a Helluva Way to Die)]

VERSE

  1. They increased supply of money till the central bank was bust
    Commercial banks gave credit till restrictions were a must
    Investment broker ran amuck with their investment trusts
    AND we ain’t gonna deflate no more

CHORUS:
Glory Glory what a hell of a way to go (3 times)
And we ain’t gonna deflate no more

  1. They equaled up the tax receipts to gov’ment expenditure
    They raised the defense budget- so to help along the war
    And Dicky’s own account became more and more and more
    AND we ain’t gonna deflate no more

CHORUS:

  1. They lowered the rate of interest to keep Euro-dollars out
    The Germans out exchange rates messed everyone about
    The French exported gold to all as if there were a draught
    AND we ain’t gonna deflate no more

CHORUS

  1. They printed paper money and handed it around
    Sent money to Cape Kennedy got rockets off the ground
    But all the money printed went straight to Herr von Braun
    AND we ain’t gonna deflate no more

CHORUS

  1. Speculators bulled and beared till buffaloed they got
    Stability was never heard become a laughing spot
    The widows and the orphans cried keep down that old p dot
    NO
    WE AIN’T GONNA DEFLATE NO MORE.

 

Narrator: ….one man alone was good in all this world.

[Franco Sawing]

[Gong, lights]

[The following Noah’s ark piece borrows heavily from the 1963 comedy album “Bill Cosby is a Very Funny Man….Right!” ]

God: Franco! (3 times) crescendo

Franco: No answer.

God: This is the Lord, Franco (Thunderously)

Franco: I’ll be with you in about 5 minutes.

God: Franco I want you to build me a model. I want it to be 60 equations long and 30 variables wide.

Franco: But I don’t know any econometrics.

God: So! Franco I want you to take two of every kind of variable into your model. Your model alone can save mankind for I shall flood the world with money.

Narrator: ….and so Franco worked feverishly not to say Frank-tically gathering variables from all his students until eventually he had two of every kind.

[Gong, lights]

God: Franco

Franco: What!

God: The time has come Franco

Franco: Do you know what I’ve been through. I’ve got all these variables and stuck them all in my model. They all look the same to me. How am I supposed to identify them?
Besides you didn’t tell me those variables were homoskedastic.
Now the investment’s got galloping consumptions, that infant industry’s riding his business cycle everywhere, income’s got a growth.
The whole model’s exploding.

[Gong, lights]

Franco: My God it’s shorting

Narrator:…and so money rained for forty days and forty nights.

[Franco looks out from model]

Franco: It’s stopped.

[Lights, gong]

God: Franco

Franco: Here we go again

God: You must tell all the variables to leave the model and multiply.

[Exit God]

Franco: Easier said than done. All right, come on out all you variables. Go away and multiply…go away and multiply.

[Enter 2 adders kissing]

1st Adder: We can’t multiply

Franco: Why not?

2nd Adder: We’re adders

Franco: There must be some way. God’s always right. Look, look, they’ve multiplied. How did you manage it.

1st adder: It’s marvelous what you can do with Logs isn’t it.

[Exeunt]

Narrator:…and so a population explosion occurred over night. And new preachers of the true economic world arose.

Announcer: And they begat three economists, Diamond, Modigliani, and Bhagwati.

 

[SONG: JAG, PETER, AND FRANCO]
[Still need to establish the original song used to parody]

THREE ECONOMISTS

(soft shoe routine)

Together: I’m Peter, I’m Franco, I’m Jagdish Bhagwati
We are the finest teachers in the world

Peter: I teach public finance though it’s sometimes hard to tell

Franco: I teach monetary and I give my students hell

Jagdish: I just sit and listen to the questions of Steve Zell

Together: Oh we are the finest teachers in the world.

[Peter does his thing, commentator describing. Text/Lyrics missing]

Together: I’m Peter, I’m Franco, I’m Jagdish Bhagwati
We all have our own teaching techniques.

Peter: I like mathematics—it’s a discipline sublime

Franco: I think talking slowly is a really awful crime

Jagdish: I draw Johnson diagrams—a dozen for a dime.

Together: Oh we all have our own teaching techniques

[Franco does his ad for the MITFRB model. Text/Lyrics missing]

[Jagdish does his offer curves spiel. Text/Lyrics missing]

Together: I’m Peter, I’m Franco, and I am Jagdish B.
We are the hardest workers in the world

Peter: I worked through Thanksgiving but I didn’t get much done

Franco: I run back and forwards from Cambridge to Washington

Jagdish: My output of articles is measured by the ton

Together: Oh we are the hardest workers
No we couldn’t be called shirkers
Yes we are the hardest workers in the world, oh yeah.

 

[STUDENTS LAMENT]

THE GRADUATE STUDENTS’ SONG

[To the tune of “My God how the money rolls in”]
[swaying from side to side, arms linked, on choruses]

ALL:

  1. Oh we are all graduate students
    We study with vigor and vim
    ‘Cos once we have got our Ph.D’s
    My God how the money rolls in.

Rolls in, rolls in, my God how the money rolls in, rolls in
Rolls in, rolls in, my God how the money rolls in.

  1. Our first year it was quite traumatic
    Just like being torn limb from limb
    We made it through Bishop and Domar
    Although at times it was quite grim
  2. But now as we’re facing the generals
    Our chances of passing seem slim
    We’re trying to alter the format
    The faculty will not give in

(pleading)

Give in, give in, oh faculty won’t you give in, give in
Give in, give in, oh faculty won’t you give in.

  1. And then we’ll start writing our theses
    We’ll make a great contribution
    We’ll go to the AEA meetings
    To get in the job market swim
  2. We’ll write up some erudite papers
    With lots of equations therein
    Then next comes a best-selling textbook
    To give Paul some competition

Competition, competition, to give Paul some competition, ‘tition
Competition, competition, to give Paul some competition.

  1. Paul Samuelson’s text is on top now
    It’s up to its eighth edition
    But we’ll supersede it entirely
    And start off a new tradition
  2. The they’ll give the Nobel Prize to us
    Our pride will be full to the brim
    And after we’ve published we’ll perish
    My God how the money rolls in

Rolls in, rolls in, my God how the money rolls in, rolls in
Rolls in, rolls in, my God how the money rolls in.

 

Source:   Duke University. David M. Rubenstein Rare Book and Manuscript Library. Economists’ Papers Archives, Papers of Robert M. Solow, Box 83.

Image Source:   Sir John Betjeman—an English poet, writer, and broadcaster. From “Myrth Study” at the National Geographic Website (23 Dec 2013). He has nothing to do with the history of economics, but I love this picture of laughter!

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Economics Programs Fields M.I.T.

M.I.T. Graduate Economics Program Brochure, 1961

 

 

 

Robert Solow served as the graduate registration officer of the Department of Economics and Social Science at M.I.T. perhaps even as late as when the graduate program brochure (transcribed below) was printed in 1961. Since Solow went down to Washington to serve as a senior staff economist on the Council of Economic Advisers in 1961, it seems likely that the brochure would have been drafted sometime before John F. Kennedy’s inauguration. This brochure is striking in many ways, e.g. its 100% informational content, presumably reflecting significant authorship/editor responsibilities of Robert Solow.

Five cherry-picked quotes from the brochure I found particularly sweet:

“The M.I.T. program does not concentrate on mathematical economics”
[It’s not what you say, it’s what they hear.]

“The department welcomes applications from qualified women”
[Apparently in the DNA of the department since World War II nearly emptied the pool of qualified male applicants.]

“The purpose of the minor program is to broaden the interests or capacities of the student in other areas than those of his major intellectual objective. While some latitude is allowed in particular cases, the spirit of this purpose is always held in view.”
[As opposed to the commandment “Thou shalt stay in thy lane”.]

“Students who are prepared for graduate work in economics are almost never deficient in humanities. Similarly, deficiencies in science are infrequent; but candidates are frequently admitted without preparation in calculus.”
[You go to war with the army you have.]

“In judging promise, special weight is naturally given to letters of recommendation from economists known to members of the department. The difficulty of evaluating records in foreign institutions and of judging foreign references constitutes a serious but no impassable barrier for foreign applicants.”
[Signal extraction problem vs. the problem of old boy networks]

Incidentally, neither “microeconomics” nor “macroeconomics” appear in the document at all. The preferred terms seen here in the brochure are “price and allocation theory” and “income analysis”.

____________________________________

The Graduate Program in Economics

School of Humanities and Social Science
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
[1961]

This brochure has been prepared especially for students who may enter the graduate program in economics at M.I.T. Its purpose is to answer a number of questions which have been recurrently raised about the program and to add to the information which is given in the M.I.T. catalogue.

 

Highlights of the M.I.T. Graduate Program in Economics

  1. The program is almost entirely for doctoral candidates. The master’s degree at M.I.T. is given in either economics and engineering or economics and science; it requires the equivalent of the M.I.T. undergraduate content in engineering or science.
  2. The M.I.T. program does not concentrate on mathematical economics. All students are required to have and use a minimum of mathematics. Students who enter without calculus may make up their deficiency in the first term with a one-semester subject (Mathematics for Economists—14.101), given in our own department. Most of the work in most fields, however, is nonmathematical.
  3. The program is limited in size. Approximately twenty-five students are admitted in any year; sixty or so students are in residence at one time. The department has more than thirty faculty members, twenty of whom have a major responsibility in the graduate program.
  4. The department welcomes applications from qualified women.
  5. All applicants are urged to take the Graduate Record Examination no later than during the January preceding the September in which they wish to enter. They should take the quantitative and verbal aptitude tests as well as the test in economics (Write to the Graduate Record Examinations, educational Testing service, 20 Nassau Street, Princeton, New Jersey, for information on these examinations. Students in western states should write to 4640 Hollywood Boulevard, Los Angeles 27, California.)
  6. Visits to the M.I.T. Campus are helpful both to the candidate and to the departmental admissions committee. Appointments are desirable but are not generally essential, since members of the committee are likely to be available.
  7. The department would like each applicant to submit a statement (one or two pages) explaining his interest in economics. An informal questionnaire is provided for general guidance.
  8. Admission in February is granted only on an exceptional basis, because many subjects given in the spring are continuations of work given in the fall. In any event, fellowship assistance is given only as a consequence of the annual March competition, for students entering in the following September.
  9. Fellowships and scholarships in amounts up to $3250 are available for entering graduate students.
  10. Winners of outside fellowships are welcome to use them at M.I.T. It is entirely appropriate to apply for a Woodrow Wilson, G.E., A.A.U.W., National Science Foundation, or other outside fellowship at the same time that one applies to M.I.T. As a rule, M.I.T. learns of the outside award prior to making its own announcements.
  11. Liberal second-year fellowships are available both to students entering with fellowships and to those who enter without financial assistance. Awards are made on the basis of first-year performance.
  12. Teaching assistantships are ordinarily available for third-year students only, although some second-year students may do a small amount of teaching. Assistantships are not available to entering students unless they have had prior graduate study and teaching experience elsewhere.
  13. I.T. these are written in residence. Following an Institute rule, theses are prepared in residence except where the special requirements of the subject, such as field work, dictate otherwise. All theses are written in residence.
  14. For further information, write the Graduate Registration Office of the Department of Economic and Social Science, Professor Robert M. Solow.

 

S.M. in Economics and Engineering or Economics and Science

The department offers a Master of Science degree only in the combined fields of economics and engineering or economics and science. This degree is available primarily to students whose undergraduate work was in either engineering or science. Its purpose is to enable scientists and engineers, and in particular graduates of the undergraduate Courses in Economics and Engineering or Science (Course XIV) at M.I.T., to carry their economics training to the graduate level in order to equip them more fully for work in industry or government.

 

Ph.D. Degree

Ph.D. degrees are awarded in economics (including industrial relations) and in political science. In addition, candidates occasionally work for a doctorate in two or more fields—for example, economics and mathematics, economics and operations research, or economics and regional planning. These candidates are examined by special committees, on which members of the Department of Economics and Social Science serve jointly with members of the other departments concerned. Most of the graduate work in the department is directed towards the doctor’s degree. This pamphlet deals exclusively with the Ph.D. in economics; a separate bulletin describing graduate work in political science is available on request.

There are four departmental requirements for the Ph.D. degree: the passing of a general examination in a number of approved fields within the area of economics and social science; the satisfactory completion of a “minor” program in another department; demonstration of ability to read two foreign languages of significance in economics; and preparation and defense of a dissertation.

 

Major Program and General Examinations

Work taken in the Department of Economics and Social Science for the doctorate in economics is divided—broadly speaking—into two separate options: economics and industrial relations. But there is considerable overlap between the two.

All students in both options are examined five fields. Among the fields presently available are the following: economic theory, advanced economic theory, monetary and fiscal economics, industrial organization, economic development, international economics, economics of innovation, labor economics and labor relations, personnel administration, human relations in industry, statistical theory and method, and economic history. Each student selects one field as having primary importance for this professional career; ordinarily this is the field in which he writes his dissertation, though exceptions may be made. The remaining four fields are designated secondary fields. One of the five fields must be economic theory.

Students are also required to have at least a minimum knowledge of statistics and economic history. This minimum is presently interpreted to mean one semester of work in each at the graduate level. Candidates who present statistics or economic history as a primary or secondary field normally take two or three semester subjects in the field and automatically satisfy the requirements in that area.

Students may qualify in one of the secondary fields through course work only, provided that they receive a mark of B or better in two subjects. Students are examined in writing in the remaining four fields during an eight-day period (Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Monday). The theory examination is four hours long (divided roughly between microeconomics and macroeconomics), while the other three are each three hours long.

Following these written examinations, the student takes a two-hour oral examination which covers theory, his primary field, and one secondary field.

 

Foreign Languages

Doctoral candidates must show reading knowledge of two foreign languages; the standard set is the ability to read works of scientific interest at a relatively slow pace. Acceptable languages are German, French, Russian, or any other language which has a literature in economics or which will advance the educational program planned by the individual student. Students are examined by the Department of Modern Languages.

Students whose language preparation has been limited may take subjects which prepare specifically for the language examinations. Students with no previous training in a language frequently are able to attain the necessary minimum proficiency during a single semester of fairly intensive study. Others, who have already had some introduction to a language, often pass the requirement at some time before the end of the semester.

 

Minor Program

Every candidate for the doctor’s degree at M.I.T. must complete a program in a minor field in another department of the Institute. This program consists of a minimum of 24 units, which ordinarily implies three one-semester subjects. The choice of the minor field is made by the student, with the approval of the Department of Economics and Social Science. The content of the program within the other department is a matter for that department’s determination. Satisfactory completion of a minor is ordinarily contingent upon an average rating of 3.5 (in effect, a minimum of two B’s and a C). The normal standard is that the minor work shall be beyond the level required of M.I.T. undergraduates. Students who have done advanced undergraduate work in some field other than economics may often use it to meet part of the minor requirement.

Students in economics have met the minor requirement in such fields as mathematics, industrial management, history, international relations, other social sciences, literature, city planning, chemistry, and electrical engineering. Subjects taken in the minor program must not duplicate work which may be offered for one of the five fields in economics. A minor program in history may include only one term of economic history, since two terms would qualify the student to offer it as a field in economics. Similarly, students minoring in industrial management may not concentrate in such areas as personnel administration. The purpose of the minor program is to broaden the interests or capacities of the student in other areas than those of his major intellectual objective. While some latitude is allowed in particular cases, the spirit of this purpose is always held in view.

 

Courses at Harvard

Students regularly enrolled at M.I.T. are permitted to take a limited number of subjects at Harvard University—about two miles distant in Cambridge—on an exchange basis, without paying extra tuition. Such subjects may be taken as a part of the minor program. Fields for the major program other than those described above may sometimes be offered on the basis of work at Harvard.

 

Residence Requirements

The minimum residence requirement for the Ph.D. degree, including thesis, is the equivalent of one and one-half full-time academic years. No specific number of subjects is required for the general examinations. In general, however, it is recommended that students have at least the equivalent of three semesters of work at the graduate level for the primary field; four semesters in economic theory; and two semesters in each of the other fields. Work on the graduate level at other institutions is considered in meeting these broad approximations of the requisite preparation. Since there are no formal course requirements, there is no occasion to have graduate credits from other schools transferred.

A full-time student is expect to take the equivalent of five subjects each semester for credit; this may include one “reading subject,” in which the student will broaden his reading in his regular subjects. A half-time student is permitted to take approximately three subjects, and a third-time student two subjects. Auditing of additional subjects is permitted as an overload.

 

Dissertation and Special Examination

The Institute requires that all dissertations be prepared in residence, during which period tuition must be paid. Field work may be necessary to gather material; but the analysis of this material must take place at the Institute, under supervision of the instructor in charge of the dissertation. In some cases the writing of the final, polished version of the thesis may be completed elsewhere.

As in other institutions, the dissertation is expected to make a contribution to knowledge in the subject. Shortly after each candidate has submitted his thesis, he is examined on its subject. This examination is oral, conducted by a committee generally consisting of three faculty members, and usually is one hour in length.

 

Total Program of Course Work

The typical student comes to the Institute directly from college with no previous graduate study, having a deficiency in one subject and the ability to pass the reading examination in one language. He can usually prepare for the general examinations in four semesters (two academic years) taking five subjects in each, divided as follows:

 

In the Department of Economics Economic theory—four subjects
One primary field—three subjects
Three secondary fields—six subjects
Statistics—one subject
In other departments Deficiency—one subject
Language—one subject
Minor—three subjects
Total: Twenty subjects
[sic, total of the above is nineteen]

This program is only illustrative, of course, and a wide number of variations are to be expected. Additional work may be required because of additional deficiencies or lack of language preparation. The number of subjects may be reduced by absence of deficiencies, by better preparation in languages, by postponing one or more requirements (such as a part of the minor) until after the general examinations, or by incorporating economic history and/or statistics as primary or secondary fields.

 

Time Required for the Ph.D. Degree

A student entering the program with only a bachelor’s degree may expect to receive the Ph.D. degree in three years under optimum conditions. This will entail taking the general examination in May of the second year and completing a satisfactory dissertation in two semesters of full-time work thereafter. Normally, however, somewhat more time is needed, either in summer work or in some part of a fourth year. Students may need this additional time for more extensive preparation before the general examination, for the thesis, or (in the ordinary case) because teaching duties prevent full-time progress as a student. Many students who plan to enter the teaching profession take advantage of the opportunity to teach part-time at M.I.T. Teaching assistantships are available for students who have passed their general examinations, and occasionally for second-year students.

General examinations are given in the department at the beginning of each semester—in September and February—an again in May. Defense of the dissertation is arranged individually at any time.

Students enrolling in the Ph.D. program with a master’s degree from another institution, based on one or more years of residence at that institution, are urged to take their general examinations earlier than May of their second year at M.I.T. It is not usual, however, for a student to be able to transfer between institutions without some loss of time.

 

Summer School

The department does not offer any subjects at the graduate level during the summer session. However, students may enroll during the summer for thesis credits, for which tuition must be paid. Scholarships are only rarely available for payment of summer school tuition.

 

Admission

To be admitted into the program, a student must hold a bachelor’s degree from an accredited college or university. To be admitted without deficiencies, he must have taken one year of college mathematics, including at least one semester of calculus; one year of college science; and a minimum of three years of college work in the humanities and social sciences. While an undergraduate degree in economics is not indispensable, students are expected to have done a considerable amount of undergraduate work in this field. Students who are prepared for graduate work in economics are almost never deficient in humanities. Similarly, deficiencies in science are infrequent; but candidates are frequently admitted without preparation in calculus.

 

Special Students

Special students, taking from one to five subjects, may be admitted to the Institute and to the department from time to time under special circumstances. Admission of special students automatically lapses each semester; application for re-admission, in the case of students wishing to continue course work, must have the approval of the instructor concerned and the department.

 

Deficiencies

Students who, upon admission, are deficient in mathematics may make up this deficiency by taking a special one-semester subject offered by the Department of Economics—Mathematics for economists (14.101.) Since calculus is required for some of the work in economic theory and statistics, students entering with a deficiency in this area are required to make it up as soon as possible. Though this is not specifically recommended, some students may be able to make up a deficiency in calculus by studying at a summer school prior to fall enrollment at the Institute.

 

Fellowships, Scholarships, and Financial Assistance

Fellowships and scholarships are awarded on a competitive basis only. First-year awards are made on April 1 for the academic year beginning in the following September. Second-year and subsequent departmental awards are made in June. No academic assistance is available for students applying after April 1, or (until the following September) for those entering in February.

Fellowships cover the tuition fee of $1500 and some cash payment toward living expenses. A fellowship of $3200 will thus include $1500 tuition and $1700 cash. The cash award is paid in two equal installments, at the beginning of each semester.

The total of fellowship assistance varies from year to year. There are several name fellowships: the Goodyear, varying from $3000 to $3500; the United States Steel, at about $3100 for each of two years (awarded every other year); the RAND Corporation Fellowship in Mathematical Economics, varying from $3000 to $3500; the Hicks, for students of industrial relations, ranging from $2000 to $3000; and the Center for International Studies Fellowship in Economic Development, ranging from $3000 to $3500; In addition to these, the Institute awards Whitney Fellowships ($3000 in 1961), open only to first-year graduate students coming from outside M.I.T., upon recommendation of the department; and the department has limited funds with which it makes scholarship and fellowship awards varying from $1500 to $3000.

In offering scholarships and fellowships, the department takes into account a variety of factors; academic achievement, career promise, and need. In judging promise, special weight is naturally given to letters of recommendation from economists known to members of the department. The difficulty of evaluating records in foreign institutions and of judging foreign references constitutes a serious but no impassable barrier for foreign applicants.

In general, outside fellowships are financially better than all but a few of the department’s awards. Applicants are therefore urged to seek Woodrow Wilson, Danforth, National Science Foundation, and similar fellowships for use at M.I.T., if they think they stand a good chance of success in the national competition.

Students who perform effectively in their first year are assured of financial support needed to finish the degree. Part of this takes the form of fellowships, in amounts somewhat lower than first-year awards; the rest consists of teaching and research assistantships and instructorships. The half-time teaching assistantship covers the half-time tuition fee of $1000 and pays $180 a month for nine months—a total of $2620. The half-time instructorship, which is reserved for students who have demonstrated effective teaching as an assistant, pays the same tuition and $235 monthly–$3115 for the academic year. The few research assistants appointed each year receive a higher rate of pay than teaching assistants but pay their own tuition. They have the advantage, however, of working on a subject related to their thesis. The department is occasionally able to obtain assistantships for applicants in other parts of the Institute, such as the School of Industrial Management or the Operations Research Group.

Third-year students are also encouraged to compete for outside assistance in supporting their thesis research, such as the Ford Foundation Doctoral Dissertation Awards, the Social Science Research Council Fellowships, and Fulbright Awards.

 

The Faculty in Economics and Industrial Relations

Morris A. Adelman, Professor of Economics
Ph.D. Harvard 1948
Industrial organization, government regulation

Albert K. Ando, Assistant Professor of Economics
Ph.D. Carnegie Institute of Technology 1959
Statistics and econometrics, economic fluctuations

Francis M. Bator, Associate Professor of Economics
Ph.D. M.I.T. 1956
Price and allocation theory, income analysis, economic growth

Robert L. Bishop, Professor of Economics, in charge of the department
Ph.D. Harvard 1949
Price and distribution theory, industrial organization, history of economic thought

E. Cary Brown, Professor of Economics
Ph.D. Harvard 1948
Public finance, income analysis, fiscal economics

Evsey D. Domar, Professor of Economics
Ph.D. Harvard 1947
Income analysis, economic growth, Soviet economics, fiscal economics

Robert Evans, Jr., Assistant Professor of Industrial Relations
Ph.D. Chicago 1959
Labor economics, industrial relations

Franklin M. Fisher, Assistant Professor of Economics
Ph.D. Harvard 1960
Econometrics, price and allocation theory

Harold A. Freeman, Professor of Statistics
S.B. M.I.T. 1931
Statistical theory, experimental design probability methods

Ralph E. Freeman, Professor of Economics, Emeritus; Lecturer
A.M. McMaster 1914, B. Litt. Oxford 1919
Monetary economics

Everett E. Hagen, Professor of Economics
Ph.D. Wisconsin 1941
Economic development, income analysis

Ralph C. James, Jr., Assistant Professor of Insutrial Relations
Ph.D. Cornell 1957
Labor economics, industrial relations

Charles P. Kindleberger, Professor of Economics
Ph.D. Columbia 1937
International economics, monetary theory and policy

Edwin Kuh, Associate Professor of Economics
Ph.D. Harvard 1955
Econometrics, income analysis

Max F. Millikan, Professor of Economics
Ph.D. Yale 1941
Economic development, income analysis

Charles A. Myers, Professor of Industrial Relations
Ph.D. Chicago 1939
Labor economics, industrial relations

Paul Pigors, Professor of Industrial Relations
Ph.D. Harvard 1927
Personnel administration, industrial relations

Paul N. Rosenstein-Rodan, Professor of Economics
Dr.Rer.Pol. Vienna 1925
Economic development

Walt W. Rostow, Professor of Economic History
Ph.D. Yale 1940
Economic history, economic growth

Paul A. Samuelson, Professor of Economics
Ph.D. Harvard 1941
Price and allocation theory, income analysis, monetary theory and policy

Abraham J. Siegel, Associate Professor of Industrial Relations
M.A. Columbia 1949
Labor economics, industrial relations

Robert M. Solow, Professor of Economics
Ph.D. Harvard 1951
Price and allocation theory, income analysis, econometrics

 

Graduate Subjects

Price and allocation theory

14.121, 122 Economic Analysis
14.123 Advanced Economic Theory
14.132 Schools of Economic Thought
14.151 Mathematical Approach to Economics

 

Income analysis

14.451 Theory of Income and Employment
14.452 Economic Growth and Fluctuations

 

Economic history and economic development

14.161,162 Economic History
14.171 Theory of Economic Growth
14.172 Research Seminar in Economic Development
14.182 Capitalism, Socialism, and Growth

 

Economics of industry

14.271 Problems in Industrial Economics
14.272 Government Regulation of Industry

 

Statistics and econometrics

14.371,372 Statistical Theory
14.374 Design and Analysis of Scientific Experiments
14.381 Statistical Method
14.382 Economic Statistics
14.391 Research Seminar in Economics
15.032 Sampling of Human Populations1

 

Monetary and fiscal economics

14.461,462 Monetary Economics
14.471 Fiscal Economics
14.472 Seminar in Fiscal and Monetary Policy

 

International economics

14.581,582 International Economics
14.584 Seminar in International Economic Theory

 

Industrial relations

14.671 Problems in Labor Economics
14.672 Public Policy on Labor Relations
14.674 The Labor Movement: Theories and Histories
14.681,14.682 Seminar in Personnel Administration
14.691,692 Research Seminar in Industrial Relations
14.693 Collective Bargaining and Union-Management Cooperation
14.694 Seminar in Union-Management Cooperation

1School of Industrial Management

 

[Production Credits]

Editorial service by the M.I.T. Office of Publications. Design by Brigitte Hanf. Typesetting by the Lew A. Cummings Company, Inc., Manchester, New Hampshire, and The Composing Room, Inc., New York. Production by the Lew A. Cummings Company, Inc. January, 1961.

 

Source: MIT Archives, Department of Economics Records, Box 2, Folder “Department Brochures”.

Image Source: MIT beaver mascot, Tim,  from Technology Review in 1914.